{"id":8298,"date":"2017-01-01T15:40:09","date_gmt":"2017-01-01T20:40:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/newvinegrowing.wordpress.com\/?p=8298"},"modified":"2019-11-23T15:59:49","modified_gmt":"2019-11-23T20:59:49","slug":"resolve-to-build-your-social-connections","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/resolve-to-build-your-social-connections\/","title":{"rendered":"Resolve to build your social connections"},"content":{"rendered":"

If you’re making new year’s resolutions, I’d like to recommend you\u00a0start 2017 with a different ambition than the typical “lose 10 pounds” or “quit smoking.”
\nMake this the year you value\u00a0your relationships.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Why? A New York Times article headlined, “How Social Isolation Is Killing Us,”<\/a> said in part:<\/p>\n

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Social isolation is a growing epidemic \u2014 one that\u2019s increasingly recognized as having dire physical, mental and emotional consequences. Since the 1980s, the percentage of American adults who say they\u2019re lonely has doubled from 20 percent to 40 percent.<\/p>\n

About one-third of Americans older than 65 now live alone, and half of those over 85 do. People in poorer health \u2014 especially those with mood disorders like anxiety and depression \u2014 are more likely to feel lonely. Those without a college education are the least likely to have someone they can talk to about important personal matters.<\/p>\n
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A wave of new research suggests social separation is bad for us. Individuals with less social connection have disrupted sleep patterns, altered immune systems, more inflammation and higher levels of stress hormones.<\/div>\n
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One recent study found that isolation increases the risk of heart disease by 29 percent and stroke by 32 percent.\u00a0Another analysis that pooled data from 70 studies and 3.4 million people found that socially isolated individuals had a 30 percent higher risk of dying in the next seven years, and that this effect was largest in middle age.<\/div>\n
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Loneliness can accelerate cognitive decline in older adults, and isolated individuals are twice as likely to die prematurely as those with more robust social interactions. These effects start early: Socially isolated children have significantly poorer health 20 years later, even after controlling for other factors.<\/p>\n

All told, loneliness is as important a risk factor for early death as obesity<\/a> and smoking.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n

If you need more convincing, I suggest you read the full article<\/a> by\u00a0Dhruv Khullar<\/a>, a resident physician at Massachusetts General Hospital and Harvard Medical School.<\/p>\n

How to get started? Consider throwing a party<\/h4>\n
\"spaghetti
We host weeknight spaghetti dinners about once a month. It’s a simple equation: spaghetti + wine + friends = one of my favorite rituals.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I love hosting\u00a0parties, from intimate dinner parties to jam-packed cocktail parties.\u00a0When people come to our parties, they sometimes say wistfully, “You’re so good at this. I wish I knew how to throw a party like this.”<\/header>\n

\nHere’s the truth: I began throwing parties in part because I was lonely.<\/strong><\/header>\n
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When my ex-fiance and I broke up, I realized I didn’t have close girlfriends to commiserate with, and I made a conscious decision\u00a0to cultivate friendships.<\/header>\n
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It felt less threatening to invite women I didn’t know well for a group gathering than to ask one out for a girl date over coffee or drinks. I began hosting clothing swaps because inviting people to join me for an activity felt like a more attractive offer; they didn’t have to want to hang out with me, they just had to want some free gently used clothes.<\/header>\n
\nI wasn’t experienced at hosting but I learned as I did it more. Slowly some of those women became friends, and I still host clothing exchanges two decades later.<\/header>\n
\nIf you feel shy about asking someone for one-on-one plans, consider hosting a small group at your place. If you don’t click with anyone who comes, you can casually drift to another conversation or excuse yourself to tend to some unspecified task in the kitchen.<\/strong><\/header>\n
\nHosting doesn’t have to mean a lot of work. When the economy tanked in 2008, we hosted happy hours at home\u00a0to give our friends a less expensive way to socialize. We’d tell people to bring whatever they wanted to drink and eventually we’d order pizza and ask people to kick in. That’s really it. All we offered was the venue.<\/header>\n
\nYou could invite a couple of people to watch movies and get food delivered or throw a frozen pizza in the oven. Host a potluck dinner. Set up an activity you’d like to do anyway \u2014 make beer or jewelry, do scrapbooking, get out your musical instrument \u2014 and ask acquaintances you’d like to know better or friends you don’t see often enough to join you.<\/header>\n
\nIf you’d like to try hosting, here are a few posts I’ve written with suggestions:<\/strong><\/header>\n