{"id":5481,"date":"2013-09-22T05:45:20","date_gmt":"2013-09-22T09:45:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/?p=5481"},"modified":"2019-06-07T13:38:59","modified_gmt":"2019-06-07T17:38:59","slug":"til-death-do-us-part-aint-easy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/til-death-do-us-part-aint-easy\/","title":{"rendered":"Til death do us part ain't easy"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"John
John and I promised to stay together for better or for worse 13 years ago. Thankfully our worse hasn’t been so bad.<\/figcaption><\/figure>
\nWe recently went to the wedding of some of our favorite people, and as usual, it got me all romantic and misty.
\nI’ve been to enough weddings, and of course seen them in movies and on TV, that I can pretty much recite the vows in my sleep:<\/p>\n

I, (name) take (name), as my wedded partner,
\nto have and to hold from this day forward,
\nfor better or for worse,
\nfor richer or for poorer,
\nin sickness and in health,
\nto love and to cherish,
\ntill death do us part.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

In the 13 years since we got married, we have seen several couples face the worse, poorer and sickness: infidelity, financial troubles, addiction, serious illness.
\nEvery time it happens, I can’t help but wonder how I would cope if I were in their shoes. I’m sure none of them imagined on their wedding days that this is what those vows would mean for them.
\nI am deeply impressed watching couples stay committed to their promise and to each other.
\nA friend really moved me years ago when she said with pain in her voice, “Why didn’t anybody tell me marriage would be so hard?”
\nSo in case anyone else hasn’t been prepared for marriage’s challenges, I’m sharing an article I recently read headlined, “Three things I wish I knew when we got married.”<\/a>\u00a0Among the highlights of Tyler Ward’s article:<\/p>\n

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1. Marriage is not about living happily ever after.<\/span><\/h2>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/div>\n
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Here\u2019s the truth: I get annoyed at my wife. But this is more a reflection of me than her.
\nI\u2019m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I\u2019ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more.
\nThe worst part of it all is that her demands aren\u2019t unreasonable.<\/p>\n

2. The more you give to marriage, the more it gives back.<\/span><\/h2>\n

Over the past year, a few friends and I have had an open conversation about the highs and lows of marriage\u2014specifically how to make the most of the high times and avoid the low ones. Along the way, we happened upon a derailing hypothesis that goes something like this: If one makes their husband or wife priority number one, all other areas of life benefit.<\/p>\n

3. Marriage can change the world.<\/span><\/h2>\n

John Medina<\/a>, the author of\u00a0Brain Rules<\/a><\/cite>\u00a0and a Christian biologist, is often approached by men looking for the silver bullet of fathering. In one way or another, they all come around to asking, \u201cWhat\u2019s the most important thing I can do as a father?\u201d
\nMedina’s answer alludes to a surprising truth…
\nAfter years of biological research and several books on parenting conclusions, what is his answer to the question, \u201cWhat\u2019s the most important thing I can do as a father\u201d?
\n\u201cGo home and love your wife.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

If you’d like to read more, check out\u00a03 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married<\/a><\/em>
\nThough acknowledging that sometimes people cheat and people get sick and all the rest doesn’t sound romantic and misty, I think it is. When the reality of what those vows mean kicks in and a couple is able to make it through, I think that’s profoundly romantic.
\nMy related posts about marriage:<\/strong><\/p>\n