{"id":1582,"date":"2010-03-09T08:45:00","date_gmt":"2010-03-09T13:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/?p=1582"},"modified":"2019-06-07T13:42:24","modified_gmt":"2019-06-07T17:42:24","slug":"paying-the-rent-is-just-one-way-of-taking-care-of-your-spouse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/paying-the-rent-is-just-one-way-of-taking-care-of-your-spouse\/","title":{"rendered":"Paying the rent is just one way of taking care of your spouse"},"content":{"rendered":"

Much fuss was made over the January release of a Pew Research Center study<\/a> showing women\u2019s incomes had grown much faster than men\u2019s from 1970 to 2007.
\nWomen increasingly have more education and make more money than their husbands, the headlines shouted.<\/p>\n

Can V-Day survive shifting roles?<\/a>
\nFor some women who earn more than their husbands, more money means more marital problems<\/a>
\nWomen approaching equality in their careers, \u2028literally and figurativel<\/a>y<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That\u2019s the case in our marriage: I have a master\u2019s degree while John has a bachelor\u2019s, and I earn the lion\u2019s share of our household income.
\n[youtube=http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=4X4MwbVf5OA]
\nI am friends with enough smart, ambitious women that this arrangement doesn\u2019t seem odd to me. It does break with some deeply held stereotypes. I\u2019m not waiting for John in pearls and heels when he drops his briefcase by the door after a hard day at the office.
\nI know it does seem strange to some. It must, or we wouldn’t see so many “man bites dog” stories out of this research.
\nWhen John and I got engaged, my dad asked me, \u201cDon\u2019t you want to be with someone who can take care of you?\u201d This so deeply offended me that we didn\u2019t speak for weeks, maybe months.
\nI wasn\u2019t offended by the implied dig at John\u2019s earning potential as much as by the affront to me and my priorities. My father, a man of old-fashioned values, seemed to be implying that my job was just filling time until I could find a breadwinner mate.
\nI\u2019d put myself through school and worked hard to build my career precisely because no, I did not want to be dependent on a man to provide for me.
\n

\"\"<\/a>
I can bring home the (soy) bacon, fry it up in a pan ... in case the embedded video doesn't work for you, click here for a dose of '80s nostalgia from Enjoli<\/figcaption><\/figure>
\nIn the decade that\u2019s passed, both my dad and I have come to realize that, in fact, I really do like having married someone who can take care of me, just not in the way he meant it.
\nJohn is my number one cheerleader. He also balances the checkbook, goes to the dry cleaner, coordinates with our accountant to get our taxes prepared \u2013 all the household details that I happen to be terrible at. He nags me to make my doctor\u2019s appointments and take my vitamins, because I probably wouldn\u2019t do either without him checking up on me.
\nIn some ways, we\u2019ve traded traditional marital roles, with me as the breadwinner and him tending to many of the details of running our home. But I love to cook, he\u2019s building his art business and he retains the important guy duty of dispatching creepy crawly critters while I squeal. So it\u2019s more a redefinition of roles than a direct trade.
\nMostly it seems to work for us, though John is itching to find a day job outside the home and I sometimes long to have more time to pursue my creativity. Maybe someday we\u2019ll make that switch, too.
\nI think the key to our arrangement \u2013 and hopefully the other couples studied by Pew \u2013 is communication. Regardless of who\u2019s doing what in a marriage, it\u2019s essential to be clear about what your needs are, for yourself and from your mate. John and I have gotten better about this with each year of marriage.
\nAre you in a couple where the wife earns more or has more education? How do you navigate what that means for traditional gender roles?<\/strong>
\n—–
\n<\/strong>
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Much fuss was made over the January release of a Pew Research Center study showing women\u2019s incomes had grown much faster than men\u2019s from 1970 to 2007. Women increasingly have more education and make more money than their husbands, the headlines shouted. Can V-Day survive shifting roles? For some women who earn more than their husbands, more money means more…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":11551,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_mi_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[53,57],"tags":[426,766,776,983,1293,1318,1414,1558,1689,1709,1995,2022,2149,2787,2791],"yoast_head":"\nPaying the rent is just one way of taking care of your spouse - Newvine Growing<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/staging.communify.me\/newvinegrowing\/paying-the-rent-is-just-one-way-of-taking-care-of-your-spouse\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Paying the rent is just one way of taking care of your spouse - Newvine Growing\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Much fuss was made over the January release of a Pew Research Center study showing women\u2019s incomes had grown much faster than men\u2019s from 1970 to 2007. 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