Getting clear on what you need can help you teach your loved ones what to do for you And you thought the Bernie memes were done … What is your ideal Valentine? If you watch Valentine’s Day ads, you would assume every woman is pining for roses, diamonds and a car. If they are moms in pandemic, they might actually just want…
When your significant other talks to you, how do you respond? How do your heart and head feel when you answer? Do you answer?
A few years back, when I was working longer and more stressful hours at the office, I would often come home to find my husband, John, had set out a plate of olives, cheese and crackers with a glass of wine for me. It was a kind way to welcome me home, as well as a smart move of self-preservation.…
My fabulous British journalist friend Jane Mulkerrins travels the globe interviewing celebrities (Kevin Kline, Liv Tyler, Billy Bob Thornton, Tilda Swinton, Victoria’s Secret models … it goes on and on) but that’s not all she does. She recently interviewed Esther Perel, a couples therapist in New York. The headline on Jane’s article in the Telegraph tells you this is going to be good reading:…
My husband, John, and I celebrated our 14-year wedding anniversary this week, which had us reflecting on our gratitude for our happy marriage and what we think we’ve learned since we first said, “I do.” Just a few days before our anniversary, Leo Babauta included the following tips in his email newsletter, Zen Habits. I thought it was perfect timing, better…
Do you remember that exhilarating feeling the first time someone you adored said those magic words, “I love you?” And do you remember the gut-wrenching feeling the first time you realized that someone who’d been throwing around the L word didn’t really love you? At least, not in the way you needed? How you demonstrate your love matters. John and…
I love to host parties — I enjoy inviting friends over for small dinners and huge cocktail affairs, and typically I accept that life is messy so something is going to go wrong. But about a year ago, I had one of my worst hostess moments. We were cohosting a living room concert at which New Orleans cellist Helen Gillet…
Throughout this year, several bloggers will engage in a conversation here and on their blogs — asking questions of each other and responding. Others are absolutely welcome to join the conversation, as well. Learn more about the ladies of Blogversation 2012. We kicked off this online salon a few weeks back, so the Blogversationists are still getting to know each…
I love serendipity. Tuesday night, with my blog post about the connection between relationships and happiness still fresh, I stumbled onto a tweet from VenessaMiemis: 10 Things Science Says Will Make You Happy The Yes Magazine article is approaching two years old but the advice sounds timeless — savoring every day moments, exercising and helping others, for example. The suggestion…
Michigan Today, an alumni publication at my alma mater, recently posted videos showing a Michigan researcher talking about happiness. Christopher Peterson, a professor of psychology, talks about what makes life worth living, and about happiness, creativity and resilience. He said something in the first video that simmers down the findings of his life’s work to one sentence: Sometimes when I…
In my fantasy world, someone from the New York Times read my blog post about the challenges some couples face trying to share a bed and thought, “That’s brilliant! We should write about that!” It could have happened.* My friend Lisa Gauchey pointed out a recent Times story headlined Married, but Sleeping Alone. The marital bed, once the symbol of…
Nobody has to convince me of the power of relationships in our lives. For example, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a job by applying for a help wanted ad — it’s always been through a personal connection. And when I reflect back on my mom’s death, some of the strongest emotional memories come from the many ways our friends…
A friend recently lost his wife. She was just 47 when she was hit by a car and died.
After getting a divorce a few years back, my friend had remarried and was as giddy as a high school girl talking about his new wife. His eyes twinkled when he talked about her influence on his health, his home and his outlook on life.
I never met his new wife, but my heart gets hot and my eyes tear up when I think about these two people just having found each other, then having it suddenly, unexpectedly, end.
David Brooks at the New York Times asked a tough question this week in his column: Two things happened to Sandra Bullock this month. First, she won an Academy Award for best actress. Then came the news reports claiming that her husband is an adulterous jerk. So the philosophic question of the day is: Would you take that as a…
Much fuss was made over the January release of a Pew Research Center study showing women’s incomes had grown much faster than men’s from 1970 to 2007. Women increasingly have more education and make more money than their husbands, the headlines shouted. Can V-Day survive shifting roles? For some women who earn more than their husbands, more money means more…
Editor’s note: Lisa and I are friends in part because we’ve lived parallel lives. We’re both Michigan natives living the life of a Manhattan suit. We both endured a relationship failure that helped us redefine what we wanted out of life. And we both lost our mothers at 51. Lisa saw my post on the anniversary of my mom’s death…
There are certain life events that seem to amplify our natural tendencies toward perfectionism — planning a wedding and hosting Thanksgiving dinner among them.
We pull out a Martha Stewart yard stick to measure our efforts and almost certainly fall short. In real life, most of us don’t have a staff of dozens invisibily helping and we won’t make five turkeys so we can photograph whichever one looks most perfectly golden, then Photoshop out any flaws.
In short, real life is messy.
Leading up to Thanksgiving, each day I will blog about what I’m doing to be more grateful. I invite you to join me in a Month of Thanksgiving, and to share your thoughts, observations, suggestions and ideas. Day 28: Giving thanks for my family The New York Times had an article earlier this week about breathtakingly bad behavior family members…
