Lately I have been marveling at my friends’ capacity to surprise me. Which makes me so happy! When I love someone and I think I’ve got her figured out, it’s a joy to be reminded that humans have infinite potential to change and evolve.
Blog
I launched my blog in 2009 when I was wrestling with a midlife crisis. Since then, the digital world has changed so much. I was new to both Facebook and Twitter when I started blogging, and I was still rocking the BlackBerry for email. Instagram hadn’t launched yet. Podcasting and short videos are what the cool kids do these days, blogging is considered old fashioned. But I still find it the best way to share my thoughts and to profile people who inspire me.
I hope you’ll find something here that inspires you, or at least sparks a conversation. Some of my favorite posts are pinned to the top, scroll down a bit more to find the most recent, or check out the categories in the sidebar.
Artist Rick Midler hand painted a pair of pants for me, after interviewing me about what I love and what I’m passionate about. The design reflects my values.
We’ve made friends with three couples after serendipitous conversations in bars. Two more who we were introduced to.
Apparently not everyone turns random meetings into real friendships, so this is what’s worked for us.
My life vision spells out what I want and my to-do list is how I’ll get there. My values clarify why I’m choosing that vision.
“Midlife crisis” implies something that hits like a car crash, intense and immediate, then you simply put your life back in order. But no, Brene Brown wisely counsels. It’s a slow burn.
Is wanting to change our behavior any more phony than wearing glasses, getting braces or going to the gym? What’s wrong with deciding you’d like to be a happier, healthier version of yourself who treats people better?
What you believe about yourself affects what you think is possible for yourself.
For example, an elite athlete might feel their muscles pushed almost to the point of collapse and think, “I am reaching peak performance! This is what I excel at.” I might feel that same level of exertion and think, “I’m not sure I can do this, I’m afraid I’m going to hurt myself. I should ease up.”
One person might feel butterflies before public speaking and think, “I’m so nervous, this is terrible!” while I might feel the same adrenaline rush and think, “I’m so excited! I can’t wait to do this.”
One of the magical things about decluttering is that it forces you to ask a wonderful question:
What is important to me in my life?
As you tackle a pile of clothes, a cluttered countertop, a shelf overflowing with books, there’s no way to get rid of clutter without answering that question.
I have come to enjoy wine and craft cocktails, and we love the social aspect of our neighborhood bars, where we know people.
But it’s time to cut down on booze to try to get my blood pressure back where it belongs.
I love salt. Given the choice between chocolate and French fries, I’ll have fries in my mouth when I answer. I have suggested that a salt lick on a necklace, like the candy necklaces of my childhood, would be an excellent invention.
But higher blood pressure points to the need to step away from the shaker.
In a few areas, it’s either-or — I love clothes and jewelry like Debbie and I take pride in my career like my mom — but I find the blends even more interesting. Like my mom, I value punctuality and find it rude when people are late, but like my stepmom, I get that life’s messy and some rules are meant to be broken.
Imagine a coach talking to a losing team in the locker room at halftime. Is it more motivating if he says, “You’re a bunch of no-talent losers and it’s no wonder you’re getting killed out there!” or “I know you can win this, so let’s turn it around and show them what you’re made of!”
We’ve taken extended trips to New Orleans and San Francisco. We also lived in New York for a month before ultimately moving.
Because so many people have asked how we’re able to pick up and live elsewhere for a few weeks, I’m starting work on an e-book answering that question.
I’ve had two recent moments when inspiring ideas surprised me.
First, during a reiki session, I saw colors, then the interior design of an e-book I want to write.
Then while watching opera, the concept “elasticity of joy” popped into my head.
John and I spent part of our autumn vacation giving retirement a test drive.
Vacation is typically synonymous with the “not working” part of retiring, so what was noteworthy was staying in a Santa Fe retirement community with our neighbor, Charles.
In the final chapter of the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra suggests asking yourself:
1. If money was of no concern, what would I do?
2. How am I best suited to serve humanity?
I would rather have the kind of home where people have a good time, without fear of ruining overly precious belongings because gravity can be a challenge and we all have accidents, than to protect purchases in their pristine condition.
Inside Out and Mama Gena gave me timely reminders that the whole range of human emotions is valid. Even at holiday time.
Deepak Chopra talks about the value of flexibility in the sixth spiritual law, detachment.
“This doesn’t mean you give up your intention to create your desire, you don’t give up the intention and you don’t give up the desire, you give up your attachment to the result.”
Once I stopped coloring my hair, I began to understand I was defying the cultural expectation that we not age, like Peter Pan, and that challenging social norms is unnerving to some.
“People don’t learn from experiences, they learn from the reflection on their experiences.”
Recently when I was meditating with my eyes closed in a dark room, I saw a white light that got brighter and brighter. Eventually it felt like I was staring at the sun.
Looking at this make-believe light prompted an insight: So many people describe seeing a bright white light when they’re dying because it’s the first time they stopped to notice it. That light is always there, trying to glow into our lives, but we’re too busy with our distractions and pursuits to notice.
“Attention energizes and intention transforms,” Deepak Chopra says in this chapter about intention and desire. “Whatever you put your attention on will grow stronger in your life. Whatever you take your attention away from will whither, disintegrate and disappear.”
According to Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, “The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.”
After hosting a goal-setting session for about a dozen women, with career coach Lauree Ostrofsky facilitating, my heart feels full recalling the enthusiastic support these ladies gave each other all day.