In case you’re traveling and have some time to read while you’re waiting (and waiting and waiting …) at the airport, or you’re just enjoying the last bit of your holiday time off before the new year, here’s a recap of some of the most popular posts of 2018.
I didn’t write all of these in 2018, but this is what visitors read the most this year:
On moving to NYC, leaving NYC … and moving back — a guest post by Amanda Hirsch
In this guest post, my friend Amanda reflects on the meaning of home and belonging, and the challenges of choosing a place that’s right. We’re grateful they decided to come back to New York, to an apartment a short walk from us.
She writes: Despite all the energy I have spent for the better part of two decades trying to convince myself to ignore the strong pull of place, it turns out, being in the wrong place (especially after being in the right place) can take a real toll. So can two decades of beating yourself up for wanting something you don’t think you should want.
The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #1, the law of pure potentiality
I loved Deepak Chopra’s Seven Spiritual Laws of Success when we first listened to it on tape almost 20 years ago, and I decided it was time for a refresher. I bought it as an audio book and listened several times at the gym before reflecting on each chapter as a sort of book report/ Cliff Notes.
Here are the other chapters, all of which were among my most popular posts this year:
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #2, the law of giving
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #3, The law of karma
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #4, The law of least effort
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #5, The law of intention and desire
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #6, The law of detachment
- The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: #7, The law of dharma
Letting my gray hair show is an act of protest
I’ve had so many strangers approach me about my hair, some to express admiration, others to urgently warn me that it makes me look old. It happened again on Christmas — we were out in Manhattan when a woman struck up a conversation about my gray hair, this time to tell me how much she loves it, leading to a chat about aging and how we deal with it.
Once I stopped coloring my hair, I began to understand I was defying the cultural expectation that we not age, like Peter Pan.
Here’s a related post I wrote, when I was just beginning the process:
Lucy and Ricky beds might help your marriage
This is an oldie but still a goody.
Like a lot of couples, John and I struggled to get a good night sleep in the same bed. He snored and I moved around. A lot. He solved the snoring with a mouthguard, then we still had to figure out my wiggling, which didn’t hurt my sleep but kept him up all night.
The solution turned out to be two extra-long twin mattresses on a sturdy king bed frame. I can have a blanket tucked in, he often sleeps with only a sheet and his feet hanging out, and we can both get some Zs.
We all have the same 24 hours a day — how wisely are you using yours?
One of my favorite insights is that when someone says they don’t have time, what he really means is, “I choose to spend my time on something besides that.” Because we all have the same 24 hours, and we all choose how to spend those hours, even if we don’t always choose wisely.
We value being busy as a culture — if you ask someone how she’s doing, the answer is often “crazy busy” or some other such statement of how booked and important we are. It takes diligence to not get swept downstream in the busy river.
Cooking dinner for someone is a great way to deepen your relationship
If you’re looking at your credit card bill, or your scale, after the holidays, maybe it’s time to cut back on the rich dinners out? That could make January the perfect time to invite friends over for a healthier home-cooked meal.
Cooking for someone is such a beautiful act of generosity. It’s a gift of your time and attention, even if it’s the final product is something as basic as grilled cheese and tomato soup. When I host, I think about who we’re having over and go shopping with those guests in mind because I want to prepare a meal they’ll enjoy.
If you’re not used to hosting and want some tips to make it less intimidating:
Making small talk a little bigger — 10 conversation topics instead of complaining about the weather
It’s easy to reach for the most generic conversation topic when you’re killing time in the elevator or making small talk at a party. But where’s the fun in that? Where’s the chance to make real human connection?
This post includes some suggestions for different conversational entry points, to try to warm people up on more interesting topics.
And if someone asks you a boring question, you don’t have to give a boring answer. Plan ahead to answer softball questions in a way that includes something you’re really interested in. If someone asks, “What’s new with you?” I’m ready to talk about my classes to become a coach, learning to read tarot and promoting John’s book for holiday gifts. I like to ask “What are you excited about lately?” while John often asks about movies or books you’ve loved recently.
This post also includes some ideas for moving beyond superficial chit chat:
