We don’t all have a choice about our circumstances in life — where and when you were born, your skin color, gender and medical condition when you were born, the resources your family had were all dealt to you. We do have a choice about how we view our circumstances. For everything I can think of to complain about in my life,…
Real estate signs in fancy neighborhoods promise “luxury living,” but I know better. True luxury is actually owning a house rather than being owned by one. My family used to live in a fancy neighborhood. Really fancy. It was a planned subdivision as flawless as a movie set. A hundred houses sat on wide, curving streets featuring cul-de-sac islands filled…
My mom was the opposite of a helicopter parent. I’ve heard terms like free-range parenting and no-rescue parenting, all of which sound like my mom. Though she expected me to excel in school and respect my elders, she left it to me to figure out much of how to live my life. I often went out to play for hours unsupervised, and as…
I’ve really been feeling the love lately.
More accurately, I’ve been hearing the love.
I have been conscious recently of how many of our friends will give me a big hug and say, “I love you” or maybe more often “I love you guys,” wrapping me and John into the declaration of affection.
When your significant other talks to you, how do you respond? How do your heart and head feel when you answer? Do you answer?
It’s a chilly, grey November day, and summer tomatoes are long gone. But thanks to a recent day spent in the kitchen, I’m making spaghetti sauce tonight from local, late summer tomatoes. John and I began hosting monthly spaghetti suppers in September last year, and making homemade sauce is one of my jobs for the night. I’ve experimented with various…
Even before we moved to New York City, John and I had a lot of conversations about how long we’d like to live here. It was not a foregone conclusion that we’d be lifelong New Yorkers. Now that we’re here, it’s both maddeningly expensive and difficult to imagine leaving. We recently visited our home state, Michigan, which renewed intense discussions…
A few years back, when I was working longer and more stressful hours at the office, I would often come home to find my husband, John, had set out a plate of olives, cheese and crackers with a glass of wine for me. It was a kind way to welcome me home, as well as a smart move of self-preservation.…
They say no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. But social media gives us more of a view of what’s happening in our friends’ lives, and sadly, I’ve gotten good at reading the signs of unraveling relationships. Facebook gives users a wide range of relationship status choices, including “separated” and “divorced,” but I’ve never seen a friend be that…
My fabulous British journalist friend Jane Mulkerrins travels the globe interviewing celebrities (Kevin Kline, Liv Tyler, Billy Bob Thornton, Tilda Swinton, Victoria’s Secret models … it goes on and on) but that’s not all she does. She recently interviewed Esther Perel, a couples therapist in New York. The headline on Jane’s article in the Telegraph tells you this is going to be good reading:…
My husband, John, and I celebrated our 14-year wedding anniversary this week, which had us reflecting on our gratitude for our happy marriage and what we think we’ve learned since we first said, “I do.” Just a few days before our anniversary, Leo Babauta included the following tips in his email newsletter, Zen Habits. I thought it was perfect timing, better…
Christmas can be stressful for a lot of people. Maybe your mother nags you, your sibling gets on your last nerve, the kids are hopped up on sugar and new toys … maybe all of the above? But for this one day, can you step away from email, social media and Candy Crush to just be in the moment? If…
Death has been close to me recently. Our neighbor died, my dad’s brother died, a business school classmate died. I am aware of our mortality but these various losses have brought that difficult truth front and center. In this already vulnerable state, I read Laurie Anderson’s farewell to Lou Reed in Rolling Stone. It seems every journalist and musician had…
This week we booked our next visit to New Orleans. We haven’t missed a Jazz Fest since Katrina, we’ve been for Halloween and Voodoo Fest and Fourth of July, but we’ve never experienced the one thing most people probably picture when they hear “New Orleans.” Since 2011, we’ve done three long stays in New Orleans and spent a month in…
I know it’s the dead of summer, so maybe Christmas cards are the furthest thing from your mind. Since I have a favor to ask, I want to give you time to think it over well ahead of that moment when you’re deciding whether you need 100 cards or if you could scale back to 50 and save a few…
