If you imagine the you of one year ago looking at what you did this year, is there anything that would surprise last year you?
- Did you make a leap of faith?
- Try something totally new?
- Go somewhere unexpected?
- Give up something you used to think was essentially you?
Lately I have been marveling at my friends’ capacity to surprise me. Which makes me so happy! When I love someone and I think I’ve got her figured out, it’s a joy to be reminded that humans have infinite potential to change and evolve.
My husband, John, has been reminding me lately how much I’ve surprised him with my twists and turns. Thankfully, he, too, finds surprises enjoyable. If that weren’t true, we probably wouldn’t be approaching 21 years together.
For example, I didn’t know a year ago I was going to start training to become a coach and that I would love it. I have offered marketing coaching for several years so it didn’t seem like much of a leap to add some formal training, but it’s really expanded my skills and my ideas for how I might help people.
Though it might sound superficial, renting a cottage near the ocean this summer was absolutely transformative. I’d never thought of myself as a summer house person, in part because I didn’t think we could afford it. But I found a tiny place in an off-the-beaten-path location and we made the numbers work.
I worked many days at an outdoor table surrounded by organic gardens, with chickens, ducks and a turkey wandering by. We made frequent visits to the beach. And we enjoyed a pace of life that was so much mellower than New York City.
Prior to that month, I would not have considered leaving Brooklyn for Long Island. Now I’m wistful enough that we’ve considered buying a house with multiple apartments in it, so we could get ourselves closer to the ocean and perhaps revive the idea of creating a cohousing experience.
Come take a stroll through our cottage’s white picket fence …
These were my coworkers:
Change can be scary. The status quo feels comfortable.
We like to feel good at things and trying something new means pushing through the discomfort of that early part of the learning curve.
There’s also that “devil you know” feeling that no matter how bad a situation is, at least you know the terrain there. There’s risk in going somewhere new, with all manner of uncertainty.
Don’t believe me? Try Googling “people resist change” and I’m pretty sure you’ll get bored or overwhelmed before you can scroll through even half the articles that come back.
If resisting change means only doing what you already know, then your world is constricting.
Your boundaries are what you’ve already done by … when? High school? College? Then if any of those old activities falls away for any reason, it’s not replaced because that would be new and risky and scary.
What if Julia Child didn’t try something new later in life? She’d lived about half a century when her first cookbook, “Mastering the Art of French Cooking,” was published. Vera Wang designed her own wedding dress when she was 40, and her design empire followed. Betty White was 51 when she landed her breakout role on The Mary Tyler Moore Show.
Need more examples?
You don’t need to be Ray Kroc buying McDonald’s at 52 to do something new, though.
You could try a new hobby. You could quit a bad habit. You could stop talking about a dream vacation and book your tickets.
Maybe you it won’t change your life like Julia Child learning to cook. But wouldn’t it be fun to surprise yourself a little?
Related blog posts:
- Authenticity implies there’s only one you
- Try changing the story you tell yourself
- The only thing constant in life is change — but somehow we don’t think that applies to us?
- Can people really change?
- Can people change? Part II, with input from friends
- The only thing we have to fear is change itself
